Pool Party
by messed up stargazer
Summary: In which Tony is a shark, Steve falls asleep and Clint threatens to use Natasha. Pure crack. I wrote this at about three in the morning after watching Batman and Robin for absolutely no reason. If it sucks, I'm sorry.


It started out as such a good day. The sun was shining but yet it wasn't too hot, there wasn't a cloud in the sky, and the humidity wasn't too bad. It seemed like a good regular summer day. And, of course, Tony decided it was time to have a pool party for Avengers only. Thor was excited as he liked swimming, Bruce was hesitant but willing (but only because his experiment would take a few hours of a computer running algorithms), Steve was unsure but Tony simply threw swim trunks at him and said, "You're going. End of story." and Clint was so happy he even convinced Natasha to come along. Of course, she refused to get wet, but somehow Clint got her in a bikini and Tony was much impressed. Natasha looked like she wanted to slap him.

Tony immediately jumped straight into the infinity pool and waited for the others to. Clint dived headfirst and when he surfaced, Tony filled his vision with water, splashing madly. Clint returned fire, quickly recovering.

Natasha sighed. She'd known this was a bad idea and here was her proof.

Bruce was content to watch Tony and Clint play like five-year-olds, Steve was marveling at an inflatable lounge chair, and Thor was trying out the diving board. Eventually figuring out the he needed to dive of the diving board, Thor did a backflip off of it. The other Avengers were much impressed.

"Cap, you coming in or what?" Tony asked, calling a truce in the water fight, both of them too good.

"Okay..." Steve replied and set the chair in the water. He then proceeded to jump on it to try and get on it; however he merely fell out and created a big splash.

Tony laughed so hard he almost forgot to keep swimming.

"You okay, Steve?" Bruce laughed.

"I think only my pride has been injured, thank you." Steve chuckled.

Steve found a way to lie on the chair without flipping it, although it took a few times, and found he liked it. He never liked swimming much, even more after being incased in ice for seventy years, so he found this a swell compromise.

Tony suddenly got an idea. But he knew he had to wait to carry it out. But he smiled evilly on the inside. Sometimes (actually most of the time) being a genius was the best thing in the word.

The party careened on with much laughter. Tony had somehow convinced Bruce to come into the water but sided with Thor during the epic water fight that somehow didn't get a drop of water on Steve. Tony was glad about that. If Steve was wet, then his plan would go to pieces.

Natasha left silently after Clint and Bruce lost the water fight badly. Tony then decided, and announced, that Thor should also be god of the ocean. Thor said that other gods held that power but he didn't disagree with him. Bruce then decided to get out and dry off, while reading a rather thick physics book.

Then it happened. Tony saw the perfect opportunity to enact his plan. Steve lay on his lounge chair, fast asleep. The Jaws soundtrack started playing on Tony's mind and he dived. He swam slowly and carefully, but not too slowly to lose too much air.

Finally, the music in his head reached the crescendo and Tony put his hands on the right wing of the chair. Knowing the super solider was very heavy, Tony shoved for all his worth.

That did it. The chair was unstable and flipped, dumping it's resident into the water. Tony surfaced, and laughed. Clint and Thor laughed like madmen, and even Bruce was chuckling as he shook his head at Tony. Steve surfaced, sputtering water and gasping. He wore a wild look, one of confusion and surprise. Once he'd calmed down enough to realize where he was, he glared at Tony.

"Not funny." Steve was having trouble keeping the grin on his face.

"That's what you think!" Tony laughed. "Oh God, JARVIS please tell me you got that on the security tapes!"

"Friend Stark that was marvelous!" Thor shouted, very amused.

"Yeah, Tony. That was a stroke of genius." Clint laughed, flopping back into the water with a huge grin on his face.

"Steve, are you okay?" Bruce asked again.

"Tony isn't going to be." Steve growled playfully.

Tony was laughing too hard to care. Steve used this opportunity to strike. Steve pounced on him and easily held the billionaire up above his head. Tony struggled but was still in giggle fits so it didn't do much. Steve then proceeded to climb out of the pool and promptly threw the genius back into the pool, making him land right on his stomach, smirking as he did so. Tony immediately resurfaced, his face as red as his stomach was turning.

"Captain Rogers, I believe you both have black mail material for many years." The AI's voice echoed through the pool room.

"Yes we do JARVIS. Thank you." Steve knelt down to Tony with a playful smirk on his face and whispered in his ear which made Tony blush. Steve then announced he was going to take a shower and dry off. The other Avengers stared at the super solider, who still wore the mischievous smirk on his face.

"What did he say to you Tony?" Clint asked soon as the super solider slid the sliding door shut.

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing." Tony said too quickly.

"Come on, Tony, now you _gotta_ tell me." Clint swan over to where the brunette was expectantly.

"I told you already. He said nothing." Tony was now swimming over to the stairs.

"I will sick Natasha on you." Clint threatened.

Tony didn't know which was sadder: the fact that Clint would actually do that, or that he was afraid of the Russian superspy.

"He told me my father taught him that one." Tony whispered, blushing furiously.

Clint burst out laughing. "Really? _That's_ what got you so riled up?"

"Shut up Clint!" Tony snapped, now pouting.

"Come on Tony. Dry off and we'll start working on something down in the lab, okay?" Bruce said, trying not to laugh as well.

"I do not understand." Thor said loudly.

"No need to yell big guy. I'll explain it in a minute." Clint was still smirking.

Thor furrowed his brow.

Tony sighed and wrapped a towel around his midsection. Bruce patted his shoulder while still keeping his composure better than Clint.

"I'll get you for this, science experiment."


End file.
